


let us love you?

by jjujutsu



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Beomgyu centric, Getting Together, Kissing, NONBINARY CHOI BEOMGYU, Nonbinary Choi Yeonjun, Other, ambiguous ending, she/her pronouns for yeonjun, she/they pronouns for beomgyu, slight txt family dynamic, txt are trans bc i say so go cry abt it cishets, tyunning are dating it is mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-01
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:01:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27812698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jjujutsu/pseuds/jjujutsu
Summary: “So, noona, what do you say? You really don’t have to have this all figured out in one night, fuck, it took Beomgyu almost six months to figure things out. We’re not going to ask that much of you, never. Just, will you let us love you?”“Yeah,” Yeonjun choked out, tears streaming freely down her cheeks, now. “Yeah, I think I can. Thank you, for loving me.”
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin, Choi Beomgyu/Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun, Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 12
Kudos: 63





	let us love you?

Beomgyu’s gender was never something she understood. To her, gender was just this shadow that followed her around everywhere, at any time of the day. One that she could never get rid of. It’s scary, at first, to have something clinging to you,haunting you, almost; but she found that after a few years, the unknown becomes known and it becomes something you learn to embrace.

When they were fifteen, and they had just learned about being trans, it was scary. There were so many words and identities she didn’t understand-  _ dysphoria, nonbinary, gender euphoria _ . It was all so new, and it made them question themselves. They hated it, they had already had to come out as gay, and she wasn’t sure her family would take it well if she was suddenly not a boy anymore, too.

When she was seventeen, she started trying different names and pronouns, and she started wearing different clothes for the first time.  _ Girly _ clothes. At first, she had thought she might be a girl because she loved makeup, dresses, and being pretty. She found she rather liked she and her pronouns as well. That scared her, but she was slowly becoming more familiar with that shadow that clung to her. She had cried her eyes out when she told her best friend, Soobin, but he had just smiled and hugged them and asked if they had a new name. She had said yes, that she wanted to be called Chaeyoung. Soobin had told her it was a pretty name and she had cried more.

When they were eighteen, they realized they weren’t a girl. They weren’t sure  _ what _ exactly they were, at the time, but they knew it was no longer a girl. They still liked she/her pronouns, but they were leaning toward they/them more. They also decided they actually quite liked their birth name, as they came to the conclusion that the name itself held no ties to any gender, but instead held ties to Beomgyu as a person. That was just who they were, and they wanted to make the name their own. They told Soobin as much (he was still the only person they were out to) and, once again, he just smiled and told Beomgyu he would support them forever. Needless to say, they cried again.

Now, at nineteen, she’s still figuring things out for herself, but she likes to think she has more of a grasp on who she is as a person now. She likes both she and they pronouns, and she likes to dress femininely some days and masculinely other days, sometimes a combination of both. They are pretty sure they’re genderfluid now, though they’re still learning what that means for them and how their own fluidity can be defined, but it feels comfortable and  _ right _ . 

Soobin has, of course, been with her every step of the way. They’ve been living together for a year, after Beomgyu was accepted into the same university her best friend had been, and they have been, well, not  _ dating _ , per say, but more than friends for about five months.

When Soobin confessed to her one rainy night in January, she had told him that,  _ of course _ she loved him, too, but that she didn’t want to be in a relationship while she didn’t feel like she fully knew herself. He had understood, like he always did, and said that he had been waiting for six years, so what’s a little bit longer, really? She kissed him, then, and that started their  _ not-dating-but-kissing-and-sharing-a-bed-and-cuddling _ relationship they had now. Taehyun often told them that he was pretty sure anyone who didn’t know them probably thought they were married. Beomgyu and Soobin both found that they didn’t really mind it if people did. 

That was how she found herself in the current situation she was in. They were all over at Yeonjun’s house to play video (Beomgyu loved spending time with Yeonjun because she was their only other trans friend) and Beomgyu was sitting in Soobin’s lap, kicking Taehyun who sat across the couch from them.

“Nobody wants to play smash, Taehyun-ah. That’s a  _ straight boy _ game, ew, barf. The people want  _ Splatoon _ .” She complained loudly, a pout on her lips.

“Not ‘ _ the people _ ’, noona, just you.” Taehyun said, rolling his eyes.

“Hey, I like smash,” Soobin whined at the same time.

Kai, who was sitting on the floor between Taehyun’s legs, was cackling, his eyes bright. Beomgyu didn’t understand why he got so much pleasure from watching her argue with his boyfriend. She was positive his bright and lovable persona was just to conceal the evil underneath.

“Soobin,” they said with mock offense, “are you coming out to me as a heterosexual, right now?”

That comment got her unceremoniously pushed off of Soobin’s lap, landing on the floor with a soft  _ thud _ , which in turn caused Kai’s laughter to amplify, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. Yeonjun, of course, chose that exact moment to walk back into the room, her eyes flickering between Beomgyu, Kai, and a grumbling Soobin.

“Jesus Christ, you’re all going to give me gray hair at the tender, youthful age of twenty-one,” She sighed, plopping down on the couch next to Soobin.

“We get it, Yeonjun unnie, you’re a hag,” Beomgyu laughed, climbing back up onto Soobin’s lap (despite the boy’s protests). “Doesn’t matter if you go gray, anyway, you dye your hair every week. Stop crying about it.”

“You brat, don’t ever speak to me again,” she huffed, snatching the controller for her switch out of Taehyun’s hands. “What do you gays want to play?”

“Splatoon!” Beomgyu shouted, at the same time Taehyun yelled, “Smash!” 

Yeonjun seemed to ignore both of them, and opted to look at Soobin, instead, the two of them sharing a  _ look _ . Beomgyu hated when the grandparent line (as Beomgyu and Kai liked to call them) did that whole stupid ‘communicating with their eyes’ bullshit. He mentally cursed these old people and their telepathy, because it definitely meant they were going to be playing a game of Soobin’s choice and  _ not _ Splatoon, which meant she would probably lose.

“Skullgirls it is,” Yeonjun announced after a moment, the tone of her voice challenging Beomgyu or Taehyun to try and argue with her.

Beomgyu’s arguments all died in her throat, though, as she heard Soobin’s cheerful laughter and felt his arms give their waist a tight, excited squeeze. For as much as they bickered and argued with the boy, they never could deny him anything in the end, especially not when he was radiating happiness. She only felt herself smiling and nodding, pointedly ignoring the knowing look they received from Kai. 

Beomgyu did, inevitably, get her ass handed to her quite a few times as the night delved into the chaos that came with the competition of the game. She whined loudly about how she didn’t want to play against Soobin anymore because he was a  _ cheater _ and was definitely out to get her.

“My poor baby,” Soobin laughed, placing an obnoxiously loud kiss on her cheek that made her heart flutter in a way she had become all too familiar with these last few months.

When Taehyun faked a gag, she threw her shoe at him.

* * *

Soobin and Beomgyu had both ended up crashing in Yeonjun’s living room that night. Taehyun and Kai probably would have, too, but when they started getting sleepy they actually went home like the responsible teens they were (or at least, that Taehyun was). 

Beomgyu certainly would not consider herself an early riser by any means, however in comparison to Yeonjun and Soobin, they were. It’s not that they got up particularly early, no, in fact, when they checked the time on their phone it read 10:45 AM. It was just that the two of them could sleep all day if they were allowed.

Technically, they  _ were _ allowed, since it was a Saturday, but Beomgyu has other plans for the three of them. She wanted to go shopping, which she, of course, could not do without the help of her two  _ favorite _ people.

No, really, she couldn’t. They needed Soobin for his car, and they needed Yeonjun for her fashion advice and wallet.

So, she decided to wake them up in the best way she knew how.

Putting her phone on full volume, she scrolled through her liked songs on Spotify for a brief moment before picking out Red Light by f(x). She set the phone down on the floor, right next to their heads (she thought it was so cute how they were cuddling, Yeonjun clinging to Soobin like a koala) and pressing play.

The result was almost instantaneous, the both of their bodies jolting at the blaring volume of the song before they quickly sat up, eyes scanning the room to find the cause of the noise.

When their eyes landed on Beomgyu, who was sporting a cheeky grin on her face, Soobin let out an exasperated groan, while Yeonjun just glared at her before trying to go back to sleep.

“No! No,” she called out, tugging slightly on Yeonjun’s shoulder length hair. “Don’t go back to sleep, rise and shine angels! Get some caffeine in you, or something, we’re going shopping!”

“Too early,” Soobin mumbled out, his arms searching for Beomgyu so he could nuzzle up next to them sleepily.

“You are a giant toddler. It is eleven in the morning, it’s literally not too early. Come on. Both of you.”

It took a bit more arguing and practically dragging the two of them off the floor before she was able to get them to actually get up and get into the kitchen, where she was happily preparing a cup of coffee for Yeonjun. They’d offered to make Soobin one, as well, but he declined.

“That stuff is so gross,” he whined, with a wrinkle of his nose, opting instead to drink some milk.

“You’re just a baby, Binnie,” Yeonjun muttered lazily, resting her head on Soobin’s shoulder while she watched Beomgyu prepare her coffee. It was adorable, if Beomgyu was being honest.

They didn’t have to ask Yeonjun how she liked her coffee, they’d spent enough nights sleeping at the other’s house to know she liked it black, no sugar, with a ton of ice. Beomgyu called it her ‘walmart iced americano’. Yeonjun always laughed at that. 

Soobin gave a small huff before he turned his gaze back to Beomgyu. “When do you want to leave, Beomie?”

“I don’t know,” she replied nonchalantly, “whenever we’re ready?”

“Helpful,” Soobin deadpanned, before giving Yeonjun his attention again. “Noona, do you have any clothes we can borrow? We didn’t really come over prepared for a sleepover. It’s okay if not, though! Don’t feel obligated to say yes. We can wear the same stuff.”

“No we can  _ not _ ,” Beomgyu piped up, handing Yeonjun the coffee once she had finished up.

Yeonjun just giggled before taking a small sip of the coffee, looking between the two of them with something fond in her eyes. “Yeah, I guess I can spare some stuff. Just don’t get cooties all over my precious wardrobe, ‘kay?”

“No promises!” Beomgyu laughed, before running into Yeonjun’s room to raid her wardrobe.

She always admired the way Yeonjun dressed and presented herself. Her style, her hair, her makeup, all of it was everything Beomgyu had wanted for herself since she was in high school. In their eyes, Yeonjun was someone she aspired to be like. Maybe that was why they always found themselves clinging to her in a way they had only ever done with Soobin before. 

After rifling through Yeonjun’s closet for a little bit, she decided on an ankle length black tulle skirt and a simple white, knit turtleneck sweater. She decided to keep on the beret she had initially worn the day before, as well. She figured it would look nice together.

“Unnie,” They called, poking their head out from her bedroom door. “Can I borrow some makeup, too?”

“Go ahead,” they heard Yeonjun yell back, her voice coming from the kitchen. 

Beomgyu just smiled to herself and went to go get ready for the day.

  
  
  


After half an hour, they were walking back into the kitchen, their lips glossy and their eyes framed with white eyeliner. They felt so pretty, looking in the mirror, and were once again hit with that warm feeling of admiration they had for Yeonjun, and the way she was so unashamedly herself.

She would get there one day. She knew she would.

“Hurry up and get ready, losers,” They singsonged as they leaned against Yeonjun’s kitchen counter, batting their lashes at Soobin and Yeonjun.

Soobin, Beomgyu observed, looked as if he had seen a fucking ghost or something, the way he was staring at her. She took a quick glance down at her outfit before meeting his eyes again. Honestly, she wasn’t sure if the way he was looking at her was good or bad, and she could feel insecurity clawing its way up her throat.

“What?” She said, a little more bite to their tone than they had intended.

“It’s just, you, um,” Soobin stuttered out, turning his head away in an attempt to hide the blush rising on his cheeks (Beomgyu saw it anyway). “You look, uh, really pretty.”

Beomgyu felt a blush rising to her own cheeks, then, breathing out a soft “ _ oh _ .” Yeonjun, however, just burst into a fit of giggles beside Soobin, setting her cup of coffee down before moving toward her own room.

“You two lovebirds are icky,” she called over her shoulder, her words still laced with laughter, “I’m getting ready. Soobinie, I think I have one of your hoodies here, you can just wear that!” 

Beomgyu, blush still dusting their cheeks, turned to Soobin, raising a questioning eyebrow. She didn’t realize the two of them shared clothes, Soobin usually didn’t like sharing clothes with anyone who wasn’t her, not even Kai.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he scoffed, “We were getting dinner together, she was cold. I couldn’t just let her  _ freeze _ , Beomie, that would be  _ rude _ .”

That just landed Beomgyu with even more questions.  _ When had they gone to dinner? Why wasn’t she invited? Why did Soobin give up one of his hoodies so easily? _

Instead of asking her not-boyfriend about the matter further, they decided to just stick their tongue out at him childishly. He returned the gesture without hesitation.

* * *

In total, it took another full hour before they were able to leave the apartment. Yeonjun had changed outfits at least three times before finally settling on a simple black turtleneck and some high-waisted black jeans with hip cutouts. Beomgyu was certain they caught Soobin staring at said hip cutouts at least twice, but she didn’t really mind. It was cute. 

Soobin had changed pretty quick into the hoodie that was definitely his, and was definitely one of his favorites (which only left Beomgyu more confused over why he would loan it to Yeonjun), but it took them another fifteen minutes before they managed to actually get out the door because Beomgyu insisted they take group selfies for her instagram. She had said she didn’t want to disappoint her fans, to which Soobin promptly responded that she had no such thing.

Finally, though, they were all climbing into Soobin’s car (Beomgyu didn’t know what kind of car it is, what gay person knows shit about cars?), Beomgyu riding shotgun and Yeonjun taking her seat behind Soobin.

“I call dibs on the aux cord,” Beomgyu yelled, snatching it up before anyone else could.

“It is literally my car  _ and _ I’m driving, I think I should get aux cord privileges,” Soobin complained, trying to grab it back out of Beomgyu’s hands.

“Soobin, nobody wants to listen to your ‘ _ I-just-came-out-of-the-closet-two-minutes-ago _ ’ playlist.” 

Yeonjun burst into another fit of laughter at that, resting her head against the leather of Soobin’s seat. “No offense, Soobinie, but they have a point. I don’t want to listen to Bebe Rexha and Shawn Mendes. Like, ever again,” she said between her laughter. 

Beomgyu beamed at Yeonjun when she backed them up before quickly turning to give Soobin a smug look as she plugged the aux cord into her phone. 

  
  
  


Fifteen minutes of blasting 2010 Avril Lavigne songs at full volume later, the three of them were climbing out of Soobin’s car, each with a smile on their faces.

Beomgyu was ecstatic. She didn’t usually get much of a chance to spend time with just Soobin and Yeonjun together, honestly. Kai and Taehyun were almost always with them and, don’t get her wrong, she loved them, but there was something special about getting some alone time with the boy she loved and her best friend. 

Easily, she slipped her hands into both of theirs and started dragging them into the mall.

“I want to look in every single store. All of them. And I have very important jobs for the both of you,” She declared, as they made their way through the automatic door.

“Oh? And what would that be?” Yeonjun asked. Soobin, on the other hand, didn’t grace them with a response and just groaned.

“Unnie, I’m so glad you asked. Your job is to give me your expert fashion advice and your honest opinion. Soobin,” they said, turning to the boy on their left, “ _ your _ job is to tell me I look good in everything.”

“Sorry, Beomie, no can do. My mom didn’t raise a liar.”

“ _ Choi Soobin! _ ” She exclaimed, a pout on her lips.

“Okay, okay, fine,” he easily gave in. “Why do you need me to tell you? You already know you look good in anything.”

“Yeah, I do. I just like to hear you say it,” they teased.

“I am literally standing right here, please stop flirting. I am begging,” Yeonjun groaned, rolling her eyes.

“Why, noona? Do you want us to flirt with you, too?” Soobin asked, a glint of something Beomgyu didn’t quite recognize in his eyes.

She caught on easily, though, moving closer to Yeonjun as they walked, a teasing smile on her lips. “We didn’t mean to leave you out, unnie. You’re pretty, too. So pretty,” she spoke, whispering the last part in Yeonjun’s ear.

They felt Soobin’s hand slip out of their own, watching as he came into their field of vision behind Yeonjun, an arm wrapping gently around her waist, his fingers tracing the cutouts of her jeans. 

They had both flirted with Yeonjun before, but never like this. It was always playful or teasing or shy, but this, this was different. This was something with a deeper meaning, more emotion than she knew what to do with.

Beomgyu found it interesting, honestly. Sure, Soobin had his moments of confidence with them, especially after so many years of friendship, but his flirting usually consisted of cheesy pickup lines that could be passed off as a joke if they backfired. She wasn’t used to seeing him be so handsy or so..  _ bold. _

What was even more interesting, though, was the blush that covered Yeonjun’s cheeks and the shiver that seemed to rip through her body as Beomgyu whispered in her ear. Yeonjun was confident, she was sure of herself and she never backed down from a challenge. She had never seen her act so flustered before, and if she was being honest she wanted to see more of it.

“My noona is the prettiest,” Soobin spoke, interrupting their thoughts. “Don’t you agree, Beomie?” 

“Mhmm,” she responded easily, “so pretty.”

“Y-you two are so… so weird!” Yeonjun whined, wiggling away from them, a deep red blush still covering her face. Beomgyu couldn’t help but think that she really  _ was _ so pretty, just one more thing to add to the list of reasons they were so enamored with her.

She decided not to think too much on that, though, instead just bursting into a fit of bright laughter, quickly taking Yeonjun’s hand again. Soobin, who was also giggling in that very high-pitched way of his, easily slid back to his place at Beomgyu’s side, fingers lacing with theirs like it was second nature to him. 

At that moment, having both of these wonderful people at their side, they decided that this was how it was meant to be. They might even dare to call it fate.

“Come on, come on,” they exclaimed, their tone carrying a childlike happiness they were sure neither Soobin nor Yeonjun missed. “We have  _ very _ important shopping to do!”

* * *

“Do you have a crush on Yeonjun noona?” Soobin asked the minute the two of them were safely back in their shared apartment. 

Beomgyu raised an accusatory eyebrow, “I could ask you the same thing.”

“No, I asked first, you go first.”

“You’re such a child,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“I am quite literally  _ older than you _ . So, do you?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. Maybe?” They replied as they easily flopped down on their couch, arms opening for Soobin. She knew going out exhausted him, even just for a little while, and he usually needed cuddles afterward to help him relax. They didn’t mind though, they were always happy to oblige.

He easily fell into place next to them, intentionally making himself seem smaller as he curled into her side, nuzzling his head into her neck. “Okay. Do you still like me, then?”

“Unfortunately.” That ended up getting her a light smack to her stomach. “Ouch, asshole. Your turn. Do you have a crush on her?”

He didn’t respond for a minute, but Beomgyu could feel the slight pout of his lips against her skin. They figured he was probably thinking about it. Soobin, for as much love was in his heart, was always a bit oblivious to his own feelings. Kai had once told them he had to tell Soobin he was in love with Beomgyu to even get him to realize it and confess (which she had always found adorably hilarious because of how brave he had acted back then). 

“I think I do,” he finally said, holding Beomgyu closer. “I definitely still love you, though. Don’t think I could stop even if I wanted to.”

“Cool,” they breathed out, “what does this mean for us, then?”

“I don’t know. I’d be okay with trying something, you know, between, uh, the three of us? Like, romantically, I mean if you want to, and all. You know Yeonjun wouldn’t be okay doing what we’re doing right now, though, right?”

She did not know that, she barely even knew what he was trying to say. “Uh, no? Can you try again, less vague this time?”

Soobin just groaned in response, lifting his head to look them in the eye.

“You know,  _ this _ ,” he made a vague gesture between the two of them. “ _ Us _ . This whole.. Not-dating-but-not-single thing we’re doing. You know I’m fine with it, but I don’t think Yeonjun noona will be. She’s too romantic for that.  _ If _ she likes one of us, or maybe both of us? She would want a relationship. Like, a real, serious one.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Why do you think that?” They asked after a beat of silence.

“She’s always talking about it, kind of. About how, if she loves someone, she wants them to have a future together, and she’d want to show them off and take care of them, that stuff. It’s implied.”

“Oh.”

“Would you be… ready for that?” Soobin asked tenderly, his hand reaching out so he could run his fingers through her hair. It was comforting, Soobin was always  _ so _ comforting, and she appreciated it, really.

“I don’t know. Can I think about it?”

“Of course, my love.”

Soobin smiled, leaning in to press a gentle kiss against her forehead. He seemed to have poured all of his love and care into that one single kiss, and as much as it made her heart flutter it was overwhelming. It was just too much on top of the thoughts that were swirling around in their head about Yeonjun and Soobin and their identity and  _ commitment _ . They didn’t want to think, not right now, at least.

“Kiss me like you mean it, coward,” they said, fighting back tears. If Soobin noticed the quiver in their voice, he didn’t say anything, opting instead to slot his lips against hers.

Quickly, she took control of the kiss, turning it as desperate and mind-numbing as she wanted, no,  _ needed _ it to be. She maneuvered their bodies easily so she was sitting on Soobin’s lap, his hands coming to rest on her waist.

They knew Soobin must have known they were using him as a distraction, and honestly they  _ did _ feel a bit bad about it, but he didn’t seem to mind as he returned Beomgyu’s kisses. The two of them had known each other long enough for Soobin to know Beomgyu wasn’t so good at expressing what they were thinking and feeling, not with words at least. He had always been okay with it, had always been there for Beomgyu to let out her emotions, be it through tears or screams or kisses. Soobin had always been so patient, so understanding, so  _ perfect _ .

Beomgyu just kissed him harder, hands tangling in his light brown strands of hair and tugging, just a bit, to expose his neck. If she left a couple bruises on his collar bones that night, well, that was nobody’s business but their own.

  
  
  


When they woke up the next morning, limbs tangled together, Beomgyu had said only two words, her voice raspy with sleep. “I’m ready.”

Soobin kissed them softly, on their lips, their cheeks, their nose, their forehead, their eyelids,  _ everywhere _ . “I’m proud of you,” he whispered against their skin, his eyes filled with nothing but love and happiness.

Beomgyu cried. Soobin held them close until they were okay again.

* * *

It was about another week until they were able to spend time with Yeonjun again. They had seen her plenty around campus, and once when they were all together in Taehyun and Kai’s apartment for their ‘Tuesday family dinner’, but they didn’t feel like it would quite be appropriate to bring up the topic of dating her right in front of their (very nosy) other friends.

Soobin and Beomgyu had talked a lot about it, the entire week. They had mutually decided they didn’t want to keep their feelings a secret from Yeonjun, they both agreed that if they wanted her to know they were being serious about everything that subtle hints and flirting were  _ not _ the way to go, Yeonjun was practically just as oblivious as Soobin. So, they planned to confess and let her know they wanted to, maybe, be in a relationship with her and just go from there.

They had also had one brief conversation about the status of their own relationship. It had gone something like this:

Soobin, “wait, are we dating?”

Beomgyu, “I guess.”

Soobin, “cool.”

They had then gone back to eating the half burnt stir fried noodles Beomgyu had attempted to make that night. It was an awful dinner, but they were far too poor to order take out. Beomgyu had caught herself thinking that if they ended up dating Yeonjun, maybe they would be able to eat food that was a little more, well, edible.

Finally, they had been able to make plans for Yeonjun to come over for a movie night on Friday, and neither of them got any sleep the night before. They were both brainstorming how, exactly, to approach one of your best friends and break the news to her that,  _ hey, we’re dating now, and also we have a big fat crush on you _ ! Soobin, being the absolute dork he was, had actually taken notes on a fucking  _ WikiHow article _ for the whole thing. Beomgyu had most definitely spent an hour laughing at him for that, making a mental note to tell Yeonjun about it if she was, you know, cool with everything.

  
  
  


Yeonjun had showed up to their place at exactly 8:00 PM, which had caught Beomgyu off guard a bit. She had been counting on Yeonjun to be “fashionably” late as always, and she was still in the middle of creating their fabulous blanket fort for the night, because what was a movie night with no blanket fort, really?

“Soobin,” she yelled over her shoulder, “Yeonjun unnie’s here! Get the door!”

“You’re demanding!” He yelled back, but she could hear him go to open the door anyway. What a good listener her boyfriend was.

“Soobinie,” they heard Yeonjun exclaim from the door. “I brought wine.”

“Gay,” Soobin laughed in response.

Beomgyu rolled her eyes, “Hi, unnie! Soobin, stop being annoying, let her inside!”

“You see what I have to deal with every day, noona? Insufferable,” Soobin pretended to whisper, and Beomgyu heard the click of the door that signified Yeonjun was now inside the apartment.

They nearly knocked over the entire blanket fort as they finished it up, their nerves almost getting the best of them as they jumped up to greet their guest. She knew her and Soobin had spent hours practicing this but she couldn’t get rid of the nervousness that was ready to strangle her. What if Yeonjun thought they were weird and didn’t want to be their friend anymore? She didn’t know if she could handle that.

As Yeonjun turned to face her, she felt her breath nearly catch in her throat. The elder looked so  _ good _ , with her hair tied in a half ponytail and the same shimmering gloss Beomgyu had borrowed last time on her lips. Her outfit was incredible, too. She was wearing a t-shirt dress with the logo for some band Beomgyu had never heard of paired with ripped tights and her favorite chunky boots.

Beomgyu felt a bit underdressed in their plain crop top and sweats, but the fact Soobin was wearing practically the same thing made them feel a little more at ease. Once again, however, she found herself admiring the confidence of which Yeonjun presented herself, the way she owned her gender rather than letting it define her. 

“Earth to Beomgyu,” they heard Yeonjun say after a minute, her tone teasing. They didn’t even realize they had practically zoned out staring at her, and the look Soobin was sending them did nothing to ease their embarrassment.

“Um, hi unnie,” they choked out after a while.

“You already said that, Gyu,” she laughed, coming closer to sling an arm around Beomgyu’s shoulders. They had never in their life felt so nervous around her before, except, well, maybe the first time they met. 

“Oh, really? Haha, um,” Beomgyu started, their eyes desperately looking to Soobin for help.

“Noona,” Soobin, their knight in shining armor, interjected easily. “Beomie and I wanna talk to you about something, but wine first, yeah?” They had no idea how he managed to say any of that without stuttering. Was their shy little Soobin  _ dead _ ?

Yeonjun lifted her arm from Beomgyu’s shoulders, happily following Soobin into the kitchen with the bottle of wine she had brought (it was  rosé and not red, thank god). 

“Talk to me about what?”

“Just, uh, some stuff. Things,” Soobin supplied helpfully as he grabbed three cups out of the cupboard. They were all crappy plastic cups with designs of Paw Patrol on they were cheaper than getting nice glasses for fancy things like wine.

“Right, things. What’s with these cups, are you five?”

“Rude,” Beomgyu sputtered out as she walked up to them, finally gaining some confidence back. “Don’t insult Skye, she’s a good girl!”

Yeonjun nodded as if she had just understood something monumentally important. “I see. Just like you, then?”

Beomgyu must have been making some type of…  _ interesting _ expression at that, if the way Soobin burst into giggles was anything to go by. Instead of responding, she just grabbed one of the wine-filled cups Soobin had poured, tilting her head back to chug it. This was going to be a long night.

  
  
  


The three of them quickly ended up in the blanket fort, cuddled nicely together with Soobin in the middle. Beomgyu, a lightweight, was more than a litte bit tipsy from her impulse decision of chugging wine like it was gatorade, earlier, and was clinging to Soobin’s side like a koala.

“So,” Yeonjun began, taking a sip from her cup (she had gotten the Zuma one), “what did you want to talk to me about.”

“We have a crush on you,” Beomgyu responded immediately, not even giving Soobin the chance to open his mouth and say what they had practiced. The influence of alcohol completely flushed all of their carefully crafted plans down the drain.

A small, strangled whine escaped Soobin’s throat as he turned to look at Beomgyu. She couldn’t care less, though, she just thought it was adorable.

“ _ What? _ ” Yeonjun finally spoke up after a moment, looking helplessly between the two of them.

“We want to  _ kiiiisss _ you, unnie!” Beomgyu giggled before feeling Soobin’s hand cover her mouth.

They were disappointed that he didn’t even flinch when they licked his palm.

“Shut up, oh my god,” he rushed out. “What Beomgyu is saying is, um. Okay, so first of all, I’m her boyfriend now, haha, woo, we’re dating. So that’s the first part.” Beomgyu’s eyes stayed focused on him and he stumbled through his words, obviously struggling to do this without following their script. She did feel a little bad, putting him on the spot like that. She made a mental note to apologize later.

Yeonjun just looked at him for a minute, before deciding not to say anything and just nodding for Soobin to continue. She was definitely telling him with her eyes to get to the point. Stupid old people and their old person telepathy.

“Okay, uh. Right so there’s that, and we, as a couple. We talked, and we realized or decided or whatever that we… we both have a crush on you, noona, and, if you’re okay with it, we’d like to maybe, uh, date you too? Or, at least, court you?”

“ _ Court _ me? What are you, from the 1800’s?” Yeonjun said, barking out a small laugh.

“Noona! I’m trying my best, here!  _ Someone _ had to go and ruin, uh, everything we rehearsed for this conversation.”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry,” she apologized, reaching out a hand to rub Soobin’s knee. “So let me get this straight. You two are  _ finally _ dating, and you both  _ also _ like me?”

“Yes,” Soobin confirmed, and Beomgyu eagerly nodded from their place at his side.

“And you want to date me, too? Like, all three of us together, dating each other?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Yeonjun said, pulling her knees to her chest.

“So… what do you think, or, uh, feel about that?”

“I’ll be honest with you both, I don’t really know.”

Beomgyu felt the way Soobin deflated by her side, and as his hand dropped from her mouth she scooted closer to him, her arm on his waist tightening just a bit as if to say  _ it’s okay _ .

“Good I don’t know or bad I don’t know?” They asked, a pout on their lips.

“Just.. I don’t know. Look, Beomgyu, I’ve had a crush on you from the minute I met you. To be honest, I was really disappointed when I met Soobin and I saw the way you two were around each other, like you were meant to be. I didn’t think, at the time, that I fit anywhere in that equation. I was kind of jealous, and then I got over it because I got to know Soobin, too. You’re kind of hard not to fall for, you know, Soobinie?”

“Um, thanks,” Soobin squeaked out, his face flushing a deep red.

“Then I didn’t really know who to be jealous of, or what I was feeling, so I just ignored it and tried to make it go away. I didn’t want to get in the way of my two best friends, or whatever. So, I don’t know. I like you both, I have for a while, but I’ve been ignoring it for months now, so I don’t know what I’m supposed to say or do. I’m sorry.”

Watching as Yeonjun exposed her own vulnerability and insecurities to them made something within Beomgyu break. She didn’t really know what it was, self control, maybe? Either way, it had her crawling over Soobin’s lap with teary eyes to sit in front of Yeonjun.

“Unnie. For a long time I didn’t know how I felt about you. You’re so… You- you’re so  _ Yeonjun _ , you’re so confident with everything I hate about myself, and I really, I love that about you. Yeah, love. At first I thought I was jealous because I wished I could be as confident as you about my gender, and then I thought I- I admired you, because you’re everything I want to be. But I just realized something, unnie.”

“What?” Yeonjun whispered out, looking at them with wide eyes.

“All those feelings, they’re, it’s like. It’s love, maybe. Something like love. I think I’ve always loved you. I want to keep loving you, forever. Even if you don’t know what to do it’s okay, just let me keep loving you. Let  _ us _ keep loving you, I’m pretty sure Soobin loves you too. He’s just scared of big words like that.”

Yeonjun’s eyes were filled with unshed tears. “Soobinie? Do you?”

Soobin scooted closer, wrapping his arms around both of them and pulling them into one of those warm, comforting hugs of his.

“Of course I love you, you’re my Yeonjun noona. What’s there not to love? You’re so pretty and smart and funny and caring and helpful and talented and I would do anything to make sure you were always smiling that wonderful smile of yours. I don’t, uh, have the liquid courage Beomie does, right now, so I’m sorry I’m not as good at this, but yes, I love you. I think I always will.”

Beomgyu just beamed at Soobin before turning to Yeonjun again. “See, I told you so!”

“Mm, you did, Gyu. Very good.” She laughed, and Beomgyu preened at the compliment.

“So, noona, what do you say? You really don’t have to have this all figured out in one night, fuck, it took Beomgyu almost six months to figure things out. We’re not going to ask that much of you, never. Just, will you let us love you?”

“Yeah,” Yeonjun choked out, tears streaming freely down her cheeks, now. “Yeah, I think I can. Thank you, for loving me.”

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello hello!! what started as “beomgyu gender exploration” bcame “beomgyu gender exploration ft soogyu” bcame “poly choi line and TRANSNESS”  
> i think this is one of my fav things ive ever written so i hope u enjoyed it as much as i did! pls let me know ur thoughts :3


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